Communication
The specific sentences that make hard conversations easier
Most difficult conversations fail on the opening line. Changing how you start changes how it goes.
Nikola Radic
Contributing writer, Talk Before You Swipe
Nikola writes about boundaries, safety and consent in practical rather than abstract terms.
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14 articles
First Dates
Plan a first date so that leaving is easy
A good first date has a built-in exit. Designing one is the difference between an hour you can end and an evening you have to…
First Dates
The venue does half the work of the conversation
Where you meet determines how easy it is to talk, how long it lasts and how it ends. Most people pick on atmosphere alone.
Communication
Apologies that work have four parts
Most apologies fail on structure rather than sincerity. The parts that are usually missing are the same ones every time.
Communication
Small bids for attention are most of the relationship
Long relationships are made of dozens of tiny approaches a day. What happens to them predicts more than any big conversation.
Communication
Stonewalling is not a cooling-off period
Withdrawing from a conversation and pausing one look similar from the inside. They have opposite effects on whoever is left waiting.
Communication
Assuming they already know is the most expensive habit
People systematically overestimate how clearly their preferences come across. The gap is bigger with people who know you well.
Communication
Talking about sex without it turning into a performance review
Most couples find this conversation harder than any other. The difficulty is almost entirely about framing and timing.
Communication
Jealousy is information about you, not an instruction
The feeling is real and usually says more about your situation than about theirs. What you do with it is where the damage or the…
First Dates
Activity dates buy you something to talk about
Doing something together replaces the interview with a shared task. That changes what you learn and how much you have to perform.
Communication
Voice notes, calls and text do three different jobs
Choosing the wrong channel causes more trouble than choosing the wrong words. Each one carries and loses something specific.
Communication
Arguing by text makes small things permanent
A disagreement in a message thread runs all day, cannot be interrupted and leaves a transcript both people can reread at their…
Communication
Venting and asking for a solution need different answers
Most of the frustration in supportive conversations comes from one person answering a question the other never asked.
Communication
How much of your history a new partner actually needs
Somewhere between telling them nothing and telling them everything sits a version that is honest without being a deposition.