Endings
Ending it clearly is kinder than ending it gently
Ambiguous endings extend the difficulty for the other person. Clarity is uncomfortable once and finished.
Dev Raghunath
Contributing writer, Talk Before You Swipe
Dev writes about dating platforms, matching mechanics and the incentives behind them.
Contact Dev through our contact page — mark your message for their attention and it will be passed on.
15 articles
Endings
The months after a breakup have a shape
Recovery is not linear and it is fairly predictable. Knowing the pattern makes the bad weeks less alarming.
Apps & Profiles
New accounts get a visibility boost, and then it stops
The first days on a dating app rarely resemble the weeks after. The drop-off is a product mechanism, not a verdict on you.
Apps & Profiles
Your first photo is doing most of the work
People decide in under a second, on one image, before reading a word. That makes photo selection the highest-leverage thing on your…
Apps & Profiles
Dating app burnout is a dosage problem
The exhaustion is real and it tracks how you use the app more closely than who is on it. Reducing the dose usually fixes it.
Apps & Profiles
The distance radius decides more than your stated preferences
One slider silently determines most of who you will ever see. Almost nobody thinks about it after setup.
Apps & Profiles
Niche apps trade volume for context
Smaller platforms have fewer people and more shared ground. Whether that is a good trade depends on what is actually blocking you.
Apps & Profiles
What a dating app knows about you, and where it goes
You hand over more on a dating app than on almost any other consumer service. It is worth knowing what happens to it.
Endings
Blocking is a tool, not a statement
People agonise over whether blocking is an overreaction. It is a setting, and it is one of the few things you fully control.
Apps & Profiles
Writing a bio when you are convinced you are boring
The people who struggle most with bios are usually applying the wrong standard. A bio is not evidence that you are interesting.
Apps & Profiles
A video call before meeting answers what photos cannot
Photos and text tell you almost nothing about how someone occupies a conversation. Fifteen minutes on video tells you a great deal.
Apps & Profiles
Unmatch, block and report are three different buttons
People reach for whichever one is nearest. They do different jobs, and only one of them affects anybody other than you.
Apps & Profiles
Reviving a conversation that died three weeks ago
Threads stall for ordinary reasons far more often than pointed ones. Restarting one is easier than people assume and needs no…
Endings
Mutual friends do not divide evenly
The social fallout of a breakup is decided by history, proximity and who talks first, rather than by anything resembling fairness.
Endings
Dating again, and why "how soon" is the wrong question
There is no interval that makes somebody ready. What matters is what the next relationship is being asked to do.